When I was a teenager, and I would have face to face conversations I used to imagine slapping the face of the person that was speaking to me. I don’t know why or where that came from, but it was a frequent thing. This fantasy was happening with my besties, not my enemies! It should be known that I never acted on it, but sometimes a big grin would spread across my face when the topic at hand was nothing to smile about. Dear friends from childhood if you saw that, that’s why. My bad.
Any who, I later learned in college when I took psyche 101 that it was some type of condition. Knowing that made me feel at ease because I wasn’t the only one that had happened with. I don’t remember the name of said disorder but knowing there was a diagnosis made me feel…normal. Eventually that went away.
Flash forward, now I think I’ve developed another involuntary habit, ‘Tune out’. I can make eye contact with the person talking to me and I have absolutely not heard the words coming out of their mouth. Like, I will literally look them in their face, smile, and have no clue what’s been said. Oh, and don’t let me continue on typing on my keyboard while looking them in the face as the paragraphs grow on my screen. Even though I’m making direct eye contact, my focus is that growing paragraph as I continue to key away.
I don’t know, I guess it’s my way of fighting to get what I need done. Constant interruptions and years of multi-tasking took a toll. Both from work and home. Something had to give, and it was finally my attention span. At least I’m honest about it. I have no shame in informing my direct audience that I’ve heard nothing they said and request a repeat. Most times, they’re so in shock that I admitted to ignoring them that they will acquiesce, hit rewind, and restate. After all, they usually had no choice because they felt that my advice was so needed, they would sacrifice their time and put themselves at risk of being ignored again. Yes, sometimes a three-peat was required. I know, I’ve been awful.
My own kids are not safe! They know to test me by stopping mid convo and ask questions to see if I’ve been listening. Look, in my defense it’s FOUR of them. I know, I had them but come on! That’s a lot of paying attention. A couple of them REALLY talk a lot. I’m not a big talker. I prefer to chat through an app and write.
But I’ve figured ways around my attention deficit disorder, and I’ve got techniques now to ensure that I give my undivided attention. Like, remove my hands from the keyboard during conversation or talk on the phone when I’m driving. I don’t know, something about being behind the wheel really engages my listening skills as I’m focusing on going about my travels. I also learned to do textbook listening affirmations by asking, “so what I heard you say is…” That goes over very well I must say.
Anyway, I just wanted to share a little bit of my quirks and as I grow, I understand that it’s just what makes me abnormally normal.
What about you?
Dare to share?