Yeah…you see that right there? That’s me. That’s my life. I am all over the place. I have so many different roles every day, and it’s taking a toll. I honestly don’t know if I’m coming or going, or if I’m getting what I need done accomplished. I have REFUSED to make a list of the things I need to do. I don’t want to see it. Just the thought of making a list makes me feel like I can’t breathe. I mean it would be as long as a drug store receipt!
I suppose crossing items off a list could offer some satisfaction. Could provide some sense of accomplishment and maybe make me feel like I’m making some gains. But every day there’s something more for me to do. I would basically just be replacing tasks, or adding more as the list refreshes. Depending on how fast I can complete something.
Ugh, it’s all very overwhelming.
Every day it’s a fight to carve out some time to just take a breath, sit still, and maybe even provide myself a little reward for my efforts. I can’t even tell if I’m making any progress most days. When I actually accomplish something there’s not even time for me to celebrate because someone always wants and needs something from me. It’s like, oh you managed to pull off building that building from the ground up? Okay, great. But I need you to do 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 … (and so on) things for me. So, let’s just get back to that.
I am OVER multi-tasking. I don’t care to be anyone she-ro, and no longer see the value in impressing anyone with scaling buildings by leaps and bounds. Not when it’s at a cost to my mental well-being, the heaviness in my spirit, the inability to remain in the moment because I’m worrying about any down time I may get taking away from all the things I need to do…anyway. Let me stop right there. I just needed to vent. It’s my blog and I will cry if I want to.
Basically, what this baby right here said!