Carpet & Drapes

Y’all! The other day I was taking a shower and in the shower I like to track my workout progress according on how hard I have to do a standing crunch to look down and see my lady bits…ya know, my nethers. So this particular time, I was super excited because I didn’t have to crunch all extra hard nor pull my muffin top up to see if I had rinsed all the soap from my personals. But oh the horror! 😱 My celebratory fat loss moment was squashedd when I saw what I saw. *Sheds a tear* It was a shiny white, not gray, puh-puh-puh-pubic hair!

ALL THE COUGARS WEPT!

I wanted to pull it, but they say if you do that more will come back. I don’t know if that’s true and I’m not willing to risk it. Do you think it’s safe to use henna down there? I’m going to Google it. Yes, the internet says it is!

I just am not ready to accept this part of the aging process. I’m not ready for the carpet to match the drapes. I’m not even 50 yet! I mean. I’m really close but still. This is some bull! Like, on the inside I still feel like I’m in my early 20’s. It was just yesterday when I was crying lining up for high school graduation. Not happy tears either! I knew I didn’t want to be an adult. I probably also knew one day my hair would be gray and my pubes would eventually match. I guess I better count my blessings that I’m still here to wine about this. I should find the silver lining (long as it’s not in my underpants). Maybe this just means that my lady parts are going to make better decisions.

hand holding wooden stick with dripping wax

Whatever! That’s the bullshit I’m telling myself to accept this newest discovery in my ever changing body. Guess it’s time to experiment with waxing.

P.s. Mom, if you’re reading this don’t comment. Just give me your advice in person 😙

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4 Replies to “Carpet & Drapes”

  1. I can so relate! Just know you are not alone. 😅 FYI. I have a standing wax appointment, as I too nearly died when mine were discovered. 😉

  2. Well you’re not alone. Im 43 and came across one recently. I thought I was tripping 😒 Waxing is the best 🤗

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