Detox Day 1
As I mentioned in ‘Detox, a Prelude’, I’m detoxing. I have this system I’m using that consists of pills and drink powder you put in your water in the morning and at night. After taking my morning dosage, I could hear my stomach reacting to the supplements within an hour! The audible gurgling at the top of my stomach was crazy to hear. You know when you’re doing your dishes and the drain is clogged with food waste, but water is slowly draining through? That’s what my stomach sounded like. Wild! I wish I had a scope to see what was going on inside my belly.
What kind of parasitic power play is going on here?
Why am I feeling like I’m coming down with a cold? Ugh, as if I need another challenge. The universe is funny. How come when you decide you’re going to make a change in your life, a road bump is thrown in your way? I was texting with my sister about this endeavor, and she too has been trying to kick her health and wellness plan into high gear ahead of her upcoming birthday 3rd week of this month. She’s been sick since the 1st. I hope she’s able to push through and start her journey.
To help me through these 7 days, I decided to meal prep. I’m making some rabbit food, I mean, cabbage soup. It has beef bone broth for collagen and protein, cabbage (of course), mushrooms, garlic, ginger, celery, peeled and diced russet potatoes, yuca, and carrots. I know I said I was going to avoid carbs, but I need some starch to give me the feeling of fullness, even if it only lasts an hour.
Detox Day 2
Ummm, why haven’t I gone to the bathroom yet? This is ridiculous. I would measure my waist, but I don’t want to see the numbers go up when I need them to come down. I am so uncomfortable, and all I had to eat up until the afternoon was fruit and granola from this morning. Jesus be a trip to the bathroom!
Indigestion started growing. Something has to shake! Thankfully, I know what to do. Juice celery, green apples, and lime. I drank that and then followed with several bowls of rabbit cabbage soup for dinner. Elimination has begun!
End of Day 2
I want a drink! Since I feel like I’m fighting a cold, a green tea & tequila hot toddy would be really nice. A nice cocktail to warm my chest up and relax me. I’ll just dream about it instead. Besides, I feel a headache coming on. I would drink more water, but I want to minimize trips to the bathroom while I’m trying to sleep.
Detoxing Day 3
My attitude is some sh*t!
It came out of nowhere! Okay, not entirely true. It was bubbling to the surface. It started when I went upstairs to see if my son was awake for work. A courtesy I stopped extending to his grown ass, so I don’t know why I did it this morning. I guess I was trying to prevent the stress of him being late to work and making his problem mine, as I tend to do. Anyway, when I went into his room, I intended to push the door open, but instead I hit the door with my open hand with so much force that the doorknob banged against the wall. “Why are you busting in my room like that?!?” said my son. I mean, he was right. That was excessive as hell. I did manage to fix my lips to apologize to him in the car.
I figured I had a problem at my next stop, Dad’s house. I don’t even know where it came from, but I was set the F off! The county left his garbage and recycling cans RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the entrance to the driveway! I was immediately outraged at the inconvenience of not being able to just roll into the driveway. So what that both sides of the driveway out into the middle of the street are still piled with ice-covered snow! So, what! The barrage of curse words that flew from my mouth would make a sailor cringe. I even kept going when I got out of the car to move the cans. No cares given to the neighbors who may have heard or seen me losing my mind early in the morning. Their ring cameras got an earful.
The reason I had to go over there was because my dad couldn’t find his house keys that I sat on his hutch the day before. I knew where I put them. I told him they were there the previous night, but he claimed his girlfriend couldn’t find him. (With his mobility issues, he wasn’t going back downstairs to check and hadn’t gotten down the steps yet to verify. So, when I walked up to that hutch and saw those keys peeking out from under his knit cap…LAWD LAWD LAWD! “They’re right THERE where I SAID they were!” I go upstairs to confront my dad because I’m pissed that I had to stop there instead of going straight home after being a taxi to my son. My dad looked at my face and body language and asked, “What is wrong with you?!?”
“I don’t know! I’m angry!” I told him about the stupid cans in my way, then the fact that the keys were where I said they were, and then offered that I was also hungry. We know how I get when I’m hungry, and now add detoxing, so I’m at code red now. “Go down there and look in the fridge and see what you can snack on!” My dad offered. I told him that I couldn’t and that I needed to get home so I could take my morning dose of pill, powder, and water before I could have anything. As parents do, he wanted to settle me down by convincing me to sit down for a moment, breathe, and have some light conversation. Not today daddy! I gotta get home so I can take the stuff, I thought. I found a calmer way to relay the message and took my angry self home.
On the way, I reached out to my good-good friend to share what was happening to me with my inexplicably high level of anger. I remembered when she told me how emotionally and mentally difficult her day 3 of fasting was. I knew she could. I sent her a voice note that I’m replaying now, and I sound crazed. SMH
It’s almost 2 hours later, and my face is still fixed in what feels like a permanent frown. I’m going to need some Botox to relax my brows. To think I wanted to do this. *this is for my betterment* repeat *this is for my betterment* exhale
I’m not going to that party I was supposed to go to today. I’m not fit for social consumption. My emotions are unregulated, and I don’t know which one is going to lead the way. Anger, sadness, depression. Maniacal laughter, numbness, or extreme highs. Is this what it’s like to be bipolar?
I know there are numerous things I could do to manage like yoga, exercise, or deep mediation but I’m going to rip out the carpet in my office and put down some flooring. It will allow me to be destructive and constructive all at once. I call that balance.
Again, please pray for me and anyone who has to interact with me.
PS. I am now at the stage where I cannot trust a fart. Definitely sheltering in place at home.
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