Peopling Again

My high school reunion is next weekend.

*exhales deeply*

It seemed like a good idea at the time to sign up to attend when I paid my money. I really do like my classmates, but see, I just came off a trip for work where I had to “people”. That took a lot of energy out of me! I am not recharged. It’s too soon. The idea of peopling again so soon is depressing.

Imagine if you will, a fully inflated balloon that’s gently floating along with a brightly curled ribbon that keeps it tethered to a space. With each scheduled meeting, each tour, each conversation, every new introduction, and the off-site meals together, this balloon slowly deflates until it finally wilts to the ground. I am that balloon.

Don’t get me wrong, I know the value in socializing. It’s just that from my experience it does more for others. Like with the work trip, bridges were definitely built. It’s just that for me it is exhausting. Not just expending energy sharing a space with people, but I have to work to be engaged and pay attention. As I’ve gotten older, I feel like I have the attention span of a squirrel. No, a human!

Anyway, so the high school reunion is coming up and I’m not ready. I’m especially not looking forward to having my name mispronounced. I mean, it has been 30 years since I’ve seen some people. They’re not going to remember that my name doesn’t have the common pronunciation as it’s spelled. And it makes me cringe inside after someone jacks my name up immediately after hearing it’s pronunciation. I should come with a t-shirt that says “Just call me Li” or “I identify as … my name pronounced correctly”.

Aside from that, I will go to see and be with some of my favorite people that I’ve maintained active connections with. I hope we all will regress and act like the silly bright-eyed and bushy tailed naïve humans we once were and nothing like the jaded haggard sheeple adulting could have made us. In the meantime, I’ll try to get my mind right and get ready to see and be seen. If nothing works, I always have tequila!