Procrastination, My Unexpected Talent

I had 2 weeks to complete a project that I didn’t want to do at all. (I’m not going to pretend like I haven’t been handling tasks in the same manner I’m about to lay out). Lately, anytime there’s a major project to do at work, no matter easy or hard, I procrastinate. Let me tell you how it goes. First, I think about the project and if it’s something I want to do I will either get right on it or set a time to do it. In this case, I’ll make sure I have something good to eat, a hot cup of tea and something entertaining to watch.

If it’s something that I don’t want to do (green zone), I visualize how I’m going to get said thing done. This can take a week or longer depending on the deadline. While I’m visualizing all kinds of tasks pop into my head that I need to do instead: organizing my closet, deep clean the office, finish a week of laundry, wash the dog, do my daughter’s hair, weed the garden, or landscaping. And that’s a short list of some of the other things I will do instead of the work project.

Next, I start to stress about not starting the project (yellow zone) and the fact that I don’t have much time left to complete the project. Then that stress manifests into physical symptoms: tight shoulders, anxiety, inability to rest, oftentimes depression, and feeling fidgety. Yet and still all of that isn’t enough to make me get started.

(9:23 p.m. and here I am pausing instead of writing this conclusion)

I’m back. In the time since I paused, I heated up some leftovers, went to the bathroom, made another margarita (you don’t need to know how many I’ve had), watched two 30-minute shows while eating said leftovers, swept the kitchen floor, resumed sipping on said margarita and got engaged in a text conversation.

(10:27 p.m. I paused again to heat up some more leftovers. I get the munchies when I drink. Judge yourself).

So, it’s nothing like the adrenaline rush of being in the red zone to motivate me to get something done. It’s like I need to have my feet held to the fire to be fully inspired. But then, in the back of my mind I know I’m cheating myself in producing a greater work product if I had just gotten started when I first knew about the task at hand.

Anyway, I choose to look at this in a positive light. Instead of seeing this as a problem, I will just say that it’s a talent. I haven’t missed a deadline yet, even if it’s at great distress to myself and those who love me (collateral damage). I’m going to look at my habit for avoidance as some primal defense mechanism that saves me from…oh I don’t know, greatness.  

P.S. I created the graphic days before I made myself sit down and write this post.