HATE IT! Nothing worse than standing out in a crowd when all you want to do is disappear. The Creator has such a sense of humor, made my height above average so that you can’t help but notice me, and my social courage as small as the lint clinging in my pocket. Despite that, I walk around with my head held high and shoulders back. I can’t let them smell fear. My face is unsmiling until spoken to for the most part and the thought in my head is, is it time to go yet? I can’t wait to get out of here!
I get why the famous travel with an entourage. There is safety in numbers. Being in the mix of many, one can pretend to be the life of the party when it’s all just a façade. Back in my club days where I was most comfortable going with no less than five additional friends, if we ever got separated all they had to do was look up and know I was the place we would meet back up again. I felt like I was the watchtower; being at least nine inches taller than my shortest friend.
I’m learning to move about in public alone though. Thanks in part to the comfort of my cell phone. I can avoid eye contact with people by playing games and watching videos. I can avoid conversations with anyone who should be in close proximity by hooking in my handy dandy ear buds and be soothed by music or have a friend on the line to accompany me as I go about my journey.
I will muddle through until I get back to my home where I feel safest. In the meantime, I won’t show my terror. Although I absolutely hate crowds. However, I cannot allow my outside to reflect the discomfort I feel on the inside. I just want to blend in but it’s not possible, ya big giraffe you.