I have been thinking a lot about mothers lately and what a better time to collect my thoughts and type them out than Mother’s Day? Now, please do not be offended that this piece doesn’t talk about fathers. I am not a father and cannot genuinely speak from their perspective but know I am a daddy’s girl. I definitely have the capacity for empathy of dad issues and a love of dad jokes.
But back to my mamas. If you’re a mother who has children that are just perfect little angels who have normal issues in the course of bringing them up, bless your heart. Isn’t that just lovely? Especially you negligent mothers. Who, in spite of your horrible parenting, have children defy the example you set and become normal well-adjusted adults. My hats off to those children. Not you.
I want to address the mothers who sacrifice so much of themselves to be present in their babies’ lives. Even when it hurts. Mothers who work multiple jobs to make ends meet and stay afloat. Mothers that are out here staying in the game during times when it would be so much easier to just take a knee and pray someone else picks the ball up and runs with it. I don’t know what it is right now but there are so many mothers struggling with their offspring. I’m not talking about absent moms either. These women I am speaking of are in there fighting it out and working against so much trying to parent. In a pandemic at that!
I know women who are working multiple jobs and/or running their own businesses, all while taking care of home and doing all in their power to set solid examples of what it is to a be a contributing member in the household, let alone so-called society. Yet still, we got babies out here trying to be criminal master minds, concubines, and all things in between that you won’t be proud to bring up at the next high school reunion. No humble brags there.
These mothers are not okay! They’re over extended, and walking around with hearts broken that won’t be easily mended with feelings of misplaced guilt or blame. Thinking if they just had this one factor that was different, the circumstances would not still be the same. Factors like: sacrificing their minds, bodies, and souls to stay in a relationship that turned cold to bring them up in a two-parent household; going out that one night and leaving them alone locked up safe in their home but not knowing when she took that much needed break, they felt abandoned and alone (and held it against her); and working a job that exhausted her but paid the bills and took care of the basics while not being able to afford the extras. A job that took so much from her she’d sit in her car for far too long trying to reset before ascending the steps because she was depleted and not present in her mind, like a mindless zombie, afraid to turn the lock not knowing what she’d face in her children’s’ eyes when she crossed her threshold. Knowing she had to muster the energy to get through her main job of parenting and wishing it were already bedtime so she could sit down and rest upon her shattered, battered, rusted out throne.
Mamas, we need to band together. This mission you’re on, I hope you don’t feel like it’s solo. There are so many women out here roughing it off daily. Doing their best to water their child plants. Bestowing fertilizer to nurture their growth that is organic and high quality because it comes from within her heart, the purest place at the depths of her soul.
Even if it means she has wilted.
Dear hearts, hold on and continue to do what’s right. You’re not by yourself. I see you and recognize your plight. One day, when your job is done and you take your rest, I pray your heart is at ease knowing you did all you could, have lasting peace with no regrets, and confident you did your best. You may have lost some battles, but you’ve attained victory. This war of motherhood will be won.